At the top tier of the market, I discovered something that took me a while to name.
The money was there. The calibre of client was there. And something was deeply off.
What I found, working at that level, is that a certain kind of egomanic entrepreneur – the ones who’ve acquired everything material wealth can buy – eventually turn their acquisition impulse toward people.
They don’t want to hire you.
They want to own you.
Colonise your attention.
Have you available in a way that has nothing to do with the scope of the work and everything to do with their need to feel like the most important thing in the room.
It’s subtle at first.
The extra message outside hours.
The expectation that you’ll reorganise around their timeline.
The slow inflation of what “support” means until you’re not really a consultant anymore – you’re just a very expensive person they’ve annexed.
And because the money is significant, there’s a pull to accommodate.
To tell yourself this is just what high level service looks like.
That you should be available at this price point.
That the discomfort is your own pattern to work through.
Sometimes it is.
But sometimes it’s just an egomanic with a big budget and a colonising impulse dressed as a high standards client.
What that experience taught me is that my best client isn’t defined by their net worth or their level of ambition.
It’s defined by the quality of relationship they’re capable of.
Whether they can be in right relationship – with me, with money, with the people they serve.
The ones who can are genuinely a pleasure to work with at any level.
They receive the work.
They integrate it.
They don’t need to own the person delivering it.
There’s a mutuality to it.
A respect for what’s being exchanged that doesn’t collapse into transaction or control.
The ones who can’t – regardless of what they’re paying – will always cost more than the invoice.
I don’t work for people anymore.
I work with them.
And that distinction, I’ve learned, shows up in the very first conversation if you know what you’re looking for.
