I just had the most incredible healing session with my best friend Kylie Ryan who just so happens to be the most epic of mindset coaches
I’ve heard her spoken about as NLP Royalty lol by a master hype man but she’s SO much more magical than that.
Amongst many other things that have been coming up for me lately is ensuring I stay purposeful and passionate about my mission, without getting caught up in the whirlpool of the “should’s” the must-do’s and the day-day chaos.
You don’t have to be a triplet mum to know what that’s like.
One thing that I realise I do in order to keep me grounded and safe – is that I am constantly “mismatching” – I’m constantly looking for incongruence in things…. but it’s my own prison and glass ceiling.
It dims my brilliance and stops me from being all that I can be.
My subconscious is constantly going through 2 filters is this RIGHT or WRONG?
And the meanings I’m constantly trying to diagnose is “Am I SAFE?” and “Am I GOOD?”
It’s a short cut that my inner child is using to protect me because it’s what she THINKS will bring me love, joy and appreciation (convoluted I know, but it’s all mapped out very clearly when you track it back thought by thought with positive psychology processes and Kylie’s guidance)
It brought me back to a pivotal moment in my childhood where I was a victim of a heinous act from a perverted adult mind ….
I thanked God for my life in that moment…
But, my 11 yo brain, who had been deeply conditioned by many generations of mothers and fathers who wanted to keep their children safe ….
My 11 yo self who had marinated in the womb of my mother, and my mothers mother in the societal message that says ….
“When men display sexual deviance …. women are responsible for changing their behaviours but men are not.”
My darling little 11 yo brain came to the conclusion that “I am only ever one simple, innocuous but WRONG decision away from being raped and murdered.”
AND that in order to make meaning of this event I decided I had to be an advocate for all other girls and women who may find themselves in the same threatened and disempowered position.
And whilst I’ve certainly played out the warrior who stands for women and I’ve done a lot of work to release that belief myself on many different levels … it still affects my decision making process subconsciously today.
I find as an adult I overly lean into strategy and structure, and outsource my responsibility to the people and the mentors who are more convicted in their authority that THEIR way is THE RIGHT way ….
Without really acknowledging that it may not be the RIGHT way for me…..
My inner child is so paralysed that I might make the WRONG choice …
I get lost in the “will this work” “won’t this work” and “Am I good?” or “Am I not” …. it’s like 2 doors side by side like in the corridor in the matrix where each door just keeps on opening onto the other one.
In our session I was able to connect into this photo and realise, that whilst a flower has the genetic material to know how to grow, it only needs the power of the elements to bloom.
There’s not a set design a flower must fulfil, except to grow and flourish, in its own unique way.
There is no right or wrong way to flower.
The 3 beautiful souls and Divine gifts in my belly here, did not require my conscious thought and strategy to grow their gorgeous little bodies and channel in their consciousness into the Earthly plane.
The Divine did not check in with me to see if I had any questions or queries or if my concerns, and self doubts were valid.
The thing that jumps out at me here is that I have been discounting the Universal power that aligns when you bloom unapologetically, and allow others to do the same.
There’s no specific structure or single strategy that can replicate this divine manifestation and invocation of your soul gifts.
Be who you truly are.
The right people and circumstances are always lining up to find the synchronicity in your vibrational alignment and theirs.
So the only thing left to do is to anchor in, open up and brace yourself for the wild ride we call life.
Thank you for listening to my Ted talk
After suffering a fairly serious breakdown I was unable to cope with life in general. My body felt broke, old and frail – I didn’t just feel middle aged, I felt half dead. I hadn’t realised that my body was self destructing and I was doing it to myself, working long hours, too much alcohol, lots of bad food and absolutely no exercise.
After six months of working with Bianca, I no longer need my blood pressure medication, anti depressants and my cholesterol is in a safe zone. I have lost 2 dress sizes and more than 26 kilos. I now have a life outside of our business and can see a happy, healthy future for our family. I hope the person I became never comes back as I like this girl so much better.
I had heard of Bianca through some magazines – it was an investment but I had tried and failed so many times but in six short months, 20 kilos melted off me and it had a massive and unexpected effect on our styling business. While working with Bianca we secured a national gig, increased our prices to a level we previously thought no one would pay, AND we were booked out weeks in advance.
The majority of this 20 kilo weight loss has only been 5% diet and exercise, the rest has been an emotional journey. Bianca confronted me and called me on my BS and challenged some of my most deeply help beliefs about who I am. And the results are undeniable. I haven’t completely quit drinking, I still get to eat chocolate, I’ve had the best year in my business EVER – and perhaps the most important thing is how differently I react to things emotionally.
Who knew that taking it slowly and being kind to yourself could get you the results that yelling at yourself couldn’t.
Before working with Bianca I was super stressed and I thought it was too hard and I didn’t have the time to be slim AND successful. But I was surprised at how easy it was to implement Bianca’s system – I haven’t counted calories and I still pig out on foods I love. It’s been no coincidence to me that as a result of the new clarity of mind I’ve actually doubled my business at the same time I’ve made these changes to my body.