I’m totally on the run at the moment, a bit under the weather, baby’s a bit under weather.
Home from daycare. And my usual workday would be on a computer right now, but instead I’m walking up and down the road doing phone calls. And even though I’m not feeling very good, I was like, “It’s too much stuff that gets bottled up, and I need to tell you stuff.”
One of the things I want to share with you is why I won’t be anyone’s personal trainer anymore, because I still get asked.
It’s funny. I haven’t been a personal trainer in about 5 years and people still say, “Hey, will you be my personal trainer?” and I say, “Why? Why do you want me to be your personal trainer?” and they go, “Because I want you to make me skinny.”
I could either be a personal trainer and help you 3 hours a week, or I could help you transform your mind and your habits from the inside out every day of the week, every hour, every minute, every second of the day.
The reason that I stopped being a personal trainer is because I discovered that I could either be a personal trainer and help you in three hours a week, or I could help you transform your mind and your habits from the inside out every day of the week, every hour, every minute, every second of the day, so you become the leader of your life and you stop having to outsource your responsibility to someone who’s essentially just being a fitness baby sitter for you.
And I say that with love because personal trainers are totally massive, incredible gifts to so many people – and it helps people match where they’re at because exercise helps you get that rush of endorphins. But, more importantly, it shows that you’re investing in yourself and it shows you that you are worthy of investing time, money and effort into your own self-care.
I’m never going to ever pooh pooh personal training because it’s been such an amazing key to so many people’s success. But, for me personally, I have the skills, the insight, the inspiration, and the mission to go to the next level where I’d say to someone, “Well, instead of trying to exercise and punish yourself slim, what about if we just find out why your body wants to hold on to these extra layers? What are the coping mechanisms that are coming out in disordered food or using wine for crutch or to wind down? Instead of looking at the unhealthy habits and trying to change on the action level, what about if we change this and I became the personal trainer for your mind and trained you how to choose healthier thoughts?”
When people struggle with excess weight, it’s because their body is feeling like there’s this need to protect yourself.
When people struggle with excess weight, it’s because their body is feeling like there’s this need to protect yourself and there’s this need for external outer layers to keep you separate from the outside world. It’s a barrier, it prevents intimacy. When you’re having the disordered types of behaviors, they’re just a symptom of what’s going on for you energetically and emotionally, but essentially it’s how you handle stress.
If you can change, revolutionize the way you handle stress, then you can just try walking for your exercise, you can just try play a game and netball for fun for exercise.
Exercise shouldn’t be employed just because it’s going to make you skinny; exercise should be employed because it makes you feel good. Because making you feel good, those endorphins is actually what’s going to create the incredible long-lasting solution to having a vitalistic and healthful body long-term.
I actually recommend for people to see what it’s like to go without these crutches for a while. And often you can lose a bunch of weight when you eliminate those crutches. What happens is if you don’t address the emotional reasons why you are reaching for it in the first place, yeah, you might lose 6 kilos in 21 days, but if you don’t have a coach, a mentor, a community to help you understand and unpack the foods that are helping you feel vitalistic from the inside out, you can’t…
You don’t need to make your inner voice louder. You make all the other voices and all the other noise softer & quieter.
A lady asked me: “How do I listen to my body better? How do I make that inner voice louder?” Well, you don’t make it louder. You make all the other voices and all the other noise softer, quieter. You get better at being more disciplined with the thoughts that you choose to believe as truth or not. That’s where the real strength happens.
If you can do that, you don’t need to employ a personal trainer to make you skinny, because you do the habits that are required. I mean, you still might choose a personal trainer – that’s super cool, that’s awesome – but you’re making the choice because you enjoy it, not because you believe you have to.
Look, I speak to lots of different people and I’ve been speaking to a lot of range of people lately, and it’s interesting what women give themselves permission to invest in. Something that’s intangible like getting a personal trainer for you mind doesn’t seem as important as saving money for a holiday for a family, or buying a new dishwasher, or paying off the credit card, not realizing that all of those things that you’re doing are all results because you’re not leading yourself; you are not reacting to stress in a healthy way.
I tell you, the number of women that I speak to that are leaking their power left, right and center through their body, through the amount of time and effort that they put into sustaining this sort of “When I put the oxygen mask on everybody else first then I’m a good person”. If you just reallocated and invested back into yourself and understanding the structures of your mind, so many of those things would sort themselves out.
The weight is just the end result of all those unhealthy thoughts you kept believing in.
Kylie and I are actually closing the door on all our weight loss specific programs, because we really want women to understand that yeah, sure, it’s about the weight but it’s not actually about the weight. The weight is just the end result of all those unhealthy thoughts you kept believing in. And then, going forward, we are really about helping you understand how your body fits in to the context of your career, relationships, and your image and your health and your habits – if you want to give yourself permission.
And that lady, she did lose weight in the 21 days that she cut out the food, cut out her crutches, but the weight just came back on.
If you’re sick of depriving yourself, feeling awesome, and then the weight coming back on as soon as you go back to normal, it means you need a new normal.
If you’re sick of constantly putting everybody else’s needs first instead of putting your own and then you’re just always putting out spot fires in your own life, then you need to learn how to give yourself permission. You need to understand the structures of your mind so that you can give yourself permission to put yourself first.
And when you put yourself first, it gives the other people in your life freedom to realize that they are the leader of their lives as well.
Most women don’t allocate any budget to their self-care and their mindset.
To completely revolutionize your life, just think about investing in a personal trainer for you mind. Our programs start at like $600 a month. In the grand scheme of things, to revolutionize your life, getting a personal trainer for your mind, it’s not a big thing when you think about the house that you live in, your biggest purchase, when you think about the things that you insure. You insure your car – and yet most women don’t allocate any budget to their self-care and their mindset that would help them rise from the ashes of the burning flames that they keep on putting themselves and then dousing themselves in all the time.
So if you’re going to say yes to yourself, to some self-care, learn the lessons for the lifetime. Discover what it’s like for you when instead of leaning towards emotional eating to make yourself feel better, the drugs and chocolate and caffeine and alcohol, learn what it would be like to actually be able to master your own mindset. Get a personal trainer for your mind.
Send me a message if it feels like this resonates with you. Because, frankly, I think I’m just really drawing a line in the sand of saying that things can’t change unless you change. Your external circumstances are never going to be any different if you don’t give yourself permission to make them be different, if you keep putting the oxygen mask on everybody else before you do it for yourself. It’s simply a choice.
Your external circumstances are never going to be any different if you don’t give yourself permission to make them be different.
Sometimes when they go, “Oh, I got to speak to my husband and see if he’s okay.” I’m like, “Babe, if I was at the grocery store with you and you could buy like $3000 worth of groceries for $1000, would you do it? Would you have to ask your husband? You have to make a decision right now.” “Yeah, I would.” I said, “Yeah, what’s the difference?”
Well, the difference is that you can immediately see the benefits that will bring to your whole family, and you make the decision. It’s an easy decision. This is more intangible. You don’t realize all the unwise spending habits you’ll stop making when you become the master of your mindset. You don’t immediately realize all the weight that you’ll drop and all the stupid fad diets you’ll stop buying, and all the stupid waist trainers and fat pills, and all the little secret binges in the car parks.
And your husband, if you actually signed up and applied with your husband and go, “Hey babe, if we do this, you’re probably going to get really awesome sex, like next level sex, probably even with the light on if we do this.” And he’d be like, “Babe, let’s get three of them. Let’s get like five years worth.”
So, really, it’s just about women giving themselves permission and thinking that the reasons that they won’t give themselves permission are actually real – and they’re not. They’re #$%^& bullsh*t.
If you’re ready to draw a line in the sand and you want to get a personal trainer for your mind, send me a message.
If you’re not willing to give yourself permission to choose to believe more healthy thoughts, my shit’s not for you babe. Sorry, this is the level where I’m at. This is an uprising. It’s time to take a stand. It’s time to draw a line in the sand. I can help if you give yourself permission. The choice is yours.
After suffering a fairly serious breakdown I was unable to cope with life in general. My body felt broke, old and frail – I didn’t just feel middle aged, I felt half dead. I hadn’t realised that my body was self destructing and I was doing it to myself, working long hours, too much alcohol, lots of bad food and absolutely no exercise.
After six months of working with Bianca, I no longer need my blood pressure medication, anti depressants and my cholesterol is in a safe zone. I have lost 2 dress sizes and more than 26 kilos. I now have a life outside of our business and can see a happy, healthy future for our family. I hope the person I became never comes back as I like this girl so much better.
I had heard of Bianca through some magazines – it was an investment but I had tried and failed so many times but in six short months, 20 kilos melted off me and it had a massive and unexpected effect on our styling business. While working with Bianca we secured a national gig, increased our prices to a level we previously thought no one would pay, AND we were booked out weeks in advance.
The majority of this 20 kilo weight loss has only been 5% diet and exercise, the rest has been an emotional journey. Bianca confronted me and called me on my BS and challenged some of my most deeply help beliefs about who I am. And the results are undeniable. I haven’t completely quit drinking, I still get to eat chocolate, I’ve had the best year in my business EVER – and perhaps the most important thing is how differently I react to things emotionally.
Who knew that taking it slowly and being kind to yourself could get you the results that yelling at yourself couldn’t.
Before working with Bianca I was super stressed and I thought it was too hard and I didn’t have the time to be slim AND successful. But I was surprised at how easy it was to implement Bianca’s system – I haven’t counted calories and I still pig out on foods I love. It’s been no coincidence to me that as a result of the new clarity of mind I’ve actually doubled my business at the same time I’ve made these changes to my body.