Have you ever heard yourself saying nasty things about your body in the mirror?
Have you ever found yourself being embarrassed when you’ve seen yourself tagged in a photo at a networking event?
And then thought, “Right. It’s time to change. I’m going to go on a diet, I’m going to join the gym, and I need a strict meal plan and somebody to keep me accountable or kick my butt when I need it.”
If that’s something that you’ve done in the past, I want to ask you:
How has that worked for you long term?
How has that negatively affected your relationship with your body and your self-worth?
And what if this cycle of self-criticism and then trying to punish yourself healthy is the very same thing that’s keeping you feeling trapped inside these excess outer layers and a body that doesn’t really show you really are to the world?
In this video, I want to show you how working on your mindset rather than just trying to force yourself to stick to a meal plan is going to give far better weight loss success than any coach or trainer or guru who has a name and shame policy when it comes to food and exercise.
The problem is that most of these high-performing women in business who are also struggling with their health, they are looking at excess weight incorrectly as a condition that needs to be addressed with diet and exercise as opposed to a symptom of an underlying cause, which in most cases is just a ridiculous amount of stress.
And then because you’re focusing on your diet and exercise, you take that super overachiever mindset and think, “I’m going to go at this like no pain, no gain.” And it becomes an all-or-nothing approach that is completely unsustainable – and it sets off a pendulum so that you go from gym junkie, kale smoothie-loving fitness fanatic to junk food consuming couch potato.
It just creates more problems.
But then the other main problem is that if this all-or-nothing approach or really, really super strict hard-lined approach is the only thing that’s gotten results in the past and even though those results haven’t lasted long-term, it’s kind of been like, “Well, it must have been my own personal failing.” And they blame themselves without realizing it was just the wrong approach and a misdiagnosed condition.
And so, even when you take the softly-softly approach and try to just do small habits and do them consistently, it doesn’t seem to get enough results for that nasty critical mindset that says all those things to you in the mirror.
It becomes this sort of ever perpetuating cycle.
I want to share with you the 3 main things that can help you overcome this need for accountability, overcome this need to have like a taskmaster commando yelling at you and trying to make you stick to a meal plan.
Because you don’t need accountability, what you need is inner alignment.
And, look, this isn’t just what works for me and my clients, this is actually what any holistic doctor or health guru who really knows what they’re talking about, this is what every woman who’s ever gotten off the weight loss roller coaster has achieved when she’s created long-lasting results.
1. You don’t need accountability, you need alignment.
Accountability only works for as long as there’s somebody over you watching you. But as soon as you think they’re not watching, you’re going to rebel, your inner child will rebel.
Specifically, alignment means that you need to be more anchored into what that food costs you after eating it as opposed to all the imagined pleasures and delights you’re going to get before you eat it.
Think about all the times you’ve regretted what you’ve eaten. If only you could anchor into that then it wouldn’t be such a hard thing.
Just like once you get older you don’t want to go out having a binge drink all night because you can’t stop thinking about how hungover trying to look after the kids you’re going to be the next day. It becomes a very easy aligned choice.
And the way you can do that is just by using an NLP process that allows you to anchor in these feelings over time and draw your attention to it.
So instead of going, “Mmm, I can’t wait to eat a whole packet of Tim Tams, it’s going to be so delicious.” It’s like, “Ooh, Tim Tams, ugh, I already feel sick just thinking about it.”
It’s just a really simple, easy way of increasing the strength of your neural pathways so that’s what you think of instead of the other way.
2. Reset your values.
Really reset your values so that you’re really invested in the delayed gratification and trusting in the process of your health journey, so that you can really walk your talk and be totally congruent with your desires – the words that you speak and the actions that you take.
For instance, if integrity is one of your highest values, where are you adding integrity when you look at your food choices?
If freedom is one of your highest values, where are you actually being imprisoned by your body or your choices? And what are you free not to do? What don’t you have the freedom to do?
Maybe it’s running around on the beach, feeling great and enjoying your time being really present with your kids – but you don’t have the freedom to do that because of your food choices.
If love is one of your highest values, how are your current choices not loving you back? How are you holding the best part of you back from the people you love the most? How are your choices making you not available for them, or snappy or moody or irritable to them?
By resetting your values, you stop the big oscillation between “Hey, I’ve been really really really really good today” or “I’ve been really really bad today, so stuff it, anything goes”.
And your pendulum will start becoming more and more balanced so you can find this really flexible point in the middle, so you can enjoy yourself, you can enjoy indulge once in awhile – but it’s not something that impedes your overall progress and robs you from the radiant health that you really truly totally deserve.
3. Overcome your subconscious interferences.
These are those little voices that come in and sabotage and say, “Oh, this little bit won’t hurt” or “You’ve already stuffed it, so why not just make the most of it?” Or kind of like Eeyore, it’s like, “Oh dear, what’s the point? It’s never going for happen to me anyway.”
The thing is, when you have subconscious interference, you’ll never really be able to achieve your ideal goal long-term.
Even if consciously you absolutely want to be that dress size, wear that slinky outfit or feel totally confident in your skin at the beach, if subconsciously you have some polarity, some fears around what it actually would mean for you to be your best self – maybe it means there might be some unwanted attention – you might think subconsciously that you’ll always have to miss out on everything and you’ll never get to eat indulgent foods.
Or maybe it’s even some negative connotations that you have, or some trauma that you’ve carried through about what it means to be that body shape or weight.
It’s only when you create the awareness through the questioning of a skilled coach that you can identify, examine, heal, and then upgrade these interferences so that your conscious mind and your subconscious mind are on the exact same path.
And when you do that, it’s kind of like your ideal outcome, your ideal healthy body, the shape that you’ve always dreamed of, the level of tone that you know is perfect for you, it becomes a foregone conclusion.
It’s like that’s out there in the future and it doesn’t matter what choice you make or what circumstances arise, you find yourself just being gravitated, being pulled towards that like the most powerful magnet in the Universe. It’s just a foregone conclusion. That’s how powerful your subconscious mind is.
If you don’t truly address the root cause – mind, body and spirit – for why these excess outer layers are just hanging around, you’ll always be on that all-or-nothing pendulum.
But if you really wanna know how to boost your body confidence without just having to use a commando to yell at you to stick to a meal plan, which we all know doesn’t work long-term, then check out my Body Confidence Blueprint.
It’s the very exact system that all of my clients use to help them shed anywhere from 5 to 18 kilos in 90 days – and do it in a way that actually makes everything in their life better.
It doesn’t mean that they have to rob from one area in order to make their health better. Actually, what they find is when they can really create this balance in every area of their life -their joy, their love, their compassion, their vitality, their radiance – the benefits cascade in every area of their life.
After suffering a fairly serious breakdown I was unable to cope with life in general. My body felt broke, old and frail – I didn’t just feel middle aged, I felt half dead. I hadn’t realised that my body was self destructing and I was doing it to myself, working long hours, too much alcohol, lots of bad food and absolutely no exercise.
After six months of working with Bianca, I no longer need my blood pressure medication, anti depressants and my cholesterol is in a safe zone. I have lost 2 dress sizes and more than 26 kilos. I now have a life outside of our business and can see a happy, healthy future for our family. I hope the person I became never comes back as I like this girl so much better.
I had heard of Bianca through some magazines – it was an investment but I had tried and failed so many times but in six short months, 20 kilos melted off me and it had a massive and unexpected effect on our styling business. While working with Bianca we secured a national gig, increased our prices to a level we previously thought no one would pay, AND we were booked out weeks in advance.
The majority of this 20 kilo weight loss has only been 5% diet and exercise, the rest has been an emotional journey. Bianca confronted me and called me on my BS and challenged some of my most deeply help beliefs about who I am. And the results are undeniable. I haven’t completely quit drinking, I still get to eat chocolate, I’ve had the best year in my business EVER – and perhaps the most important thing is how differently I react to things emotionally.
Who knew that taking it slowly and being kind to yourself could get you the results that yelling at yourself couldn’t.
Before working with Bianca I was super stressed and I thought it was too hard and I didn’t have the time to be slim AND successful. But I was surprised at how easy it was to implement Bianca’s system – I haven’t counted calories and I still pig out on foods I love. It’s been no coincidence to me that as a result of the new clarity of mind I’ve actually doubled my business at the same time I’ve made these changes to my body.