Do you wish you were as skinny as when you thought you were fat?

The 3 things you must understand about this mindset issue and how to resolve your body image and weight loss struggles.

Transcript

Have you ever seen an old photo of yourself and thought, “Geez, I wish I was as skinny as when I thought I was fat”?

Well, you’re not alone.

In this video, I’m going to be showing you what’s really behind this internal struggle and how you can actually short circuit it and be rid of it for good.

I’m Bianca Aiono. I’m a mind body transformation coach – and I specialize in helping overachieving women shed their weight and spread their wings without hardcore dieting or punishing exercise.

In this dilemma, I want to bring up three different things.

1. Diagnose this as a Mindset Issue that Can’t Be Solved with Diet and Exercise

First of all, I know from personal experience. Just recently I was scrolling through a whole bunch of photos and I saw so many times in my life where I thought, “Geez, I thought I was fat then, I thought I was fat then, I thought I was fat then, and I thought I was fat then.”

That was the only common thread. And I was so many different shapes and sizes, and I had different priorities, I had different goals, different friends, different life circumstances – but that was the one pervading common theme amongst all of them.

So if you are feeling like you can never match up to the image in your head and the mirror never can match up to it, then that doesn’t mean you have to diet more or you have to exercise more. That’s a mindset issue. That’s a thought that you’ve continued to think over years, day in, day out, minutes out of every hour of every day – over decades for some people – that it’s not okay for you to approve of what you see in the mirror.

And it’s only when you can put a bit of distance between you and that time in your life that you can be dissociated from it and view it with some objectivity.

It’s only when we can start retraining your thoughts that you can actually be rid of this negative diet cycle that keeps you saying to yourself, “I’ll start Monday,” or keeps you binging you then purging, or couch potato to exercise freak.

So the answer to short-circuiting this never-ending battle saying, “I should love myself but I don’t, I’d love to love what I see in the mirror but I hate it,” this is actually about creating new neural pathways, creating new thoughts for you to think and practice those thoughts over a period of time.

This is what I can actually help you do in our coaching programs and in my Body Confidence Project. But more about that later.

2. Who’s been Listening to your Inner Critic?

The second thing I want you to consider is… If you were to track back and hear all the negative things you say to yourself in the mirror, or when you see a photo, or when you’re punishing yourself on the treadmill, or trying to stop yourself from eating something… “Stop eating, you fat cow” “Sweat is just your fat crying” “Go hard, you fat bitch” …all that language is being directed inside.

And would you speak to a child or one of your children the way you speak to yourself?

Well, there’s actually an inner child within you as a part of your psyche who has to endure. There’s a part of you that’s been abused and neglected because you’ve been hammering this abuse minutes after every hour after every day over decades of your life. And then the question is… Are you okay with that? Or is this something that you want to change?

And the third thing that I want to bring to your attention is to ask you…

3. What are your Weighting for?

What is it that you think you’re going to get if you were going to be that ideal weight on the scales or that perfect body that you see in the mirror?

When I ask women this, they tell me, “Well, I’d go out more, I’d have more fun, I’d wear sexy clothes, I’d be intimate with my husband more often.”

So, you think that you’re going to be able to do all these things – and weight is the thing that’s stopping you from doing that.

But if you want to be more comfortable, why don’t you wear more comfortable clothes? If you want to wear sexy clothes, why don’t you buy sexy, comfortable that’s sexy in the eyes that adore you? Make up your own definition of what sexy is. Is sexy just about what you look on the outside or is sexy an attitude? And fun. Are you telling me you’ve never ever had fun at home in your pajamas?

Can you see all these blockages that you’re fencing yourself in?

And actually, none of it is prevented by how much you weigh on the scale. So why not find ways that you can be comfortable, have fun, be sexy, be intimate now?

Because this is what people always get confused with. We’ve been conditioned to believe this our entire lives since before we were born that when you lose weight then you’re allowed to be happy. But if you look past the history of it all, no matter what weight you’ve been, you’ve always found something that could be better or isn’t good enough.

If past behavior is an indicator of our future behavior, wouldn’t you think that no matter how much weight you lose even in the future, you’re still going to find something to not have fun and not be comfortable and not feel sexy?

So why not just let go of all these other people’s definitions of what fun, comfortable, sexy and what a perfect body is? Define your own, throw off your shackles of your body jail – and start living life today.

Being happy is what makes you happy, not a number on the scales.

And the really awesome thing is, when you start to gain life, you start losing weight automatically. Because when you’re happy you start eating foods that make you feel happy long-term. You eat foods that love you back. You like to move your body in fun ways.

Losing weight is just a by-product of being happy. And don’t you deserve to be happy?

If you need some more help, if you can hear what I’m saying but you’re still trapped in that body jail, I totally get it. This is probably the first time that you’ve really heard somebody be consistent in this messaging to you. But if you just can’t pull yourself out of the hole, that’s totally fine. Reach out. We can help you. This is what we specialize in.

Diets are for dieting and life is for living. And isn’t it time that you start living?

The advice I’ve shared with you today lies in Emotional Weight which is one step of my signature system the Body Confidence Blueprint. You can download your free training by clicking the banner below.