• How letting people live in your head rent-free is making you fat and miserable
• Why treating weight loss as a purely physical problem is why you became unstuck so easily
• The mantra I use to evict those freeloaders and let go of other people’s stuff
We all have our inner mean girl. But what I want to ask you is: are you being a big fat nosy parker?
Do you ever find that sometimes your attention to what’s happening out there in the world just pisses you off? It just gets you really cranky – or someone might say something or some girl might say something and just really spoils your day.
Well, excess weight isn’t just about the food you eat and the exercise you do or don’t do. It’s also about your emotions and how you react to them.
In the last video, I spoke to you about stress and how our body can interpret that stress and make us want to reach for fattening foods and make us feel really lethargic. But there’s also the stress that you put on yourself.
So there’s stresses happening out there in the world and also the stress that’s happening because of the glasses that you’re wearing and that you’re looking out from. So, basically, when you put meanings on what other people are doing and you stick your nose in their business.
But you gotta get out of other people’s business because your inner mean girl is making you fat and she’s making you miserable.
When you see things going on the world that make you feel overly critical or you find yourself really judging harshly, then that is also another version of stress that your body can feel threatened from – and also adds another another dimension for you to add external behaviors, conscious behaviors onto the subconscious meanings that you’re putting on things.
So, basically, worrying about other people’s business is another way for your body to want to feel like it needs protect itself (i.e. put on fat and stubbornly hold on to it).
The other thing is, when you’re super harsh to other people, have you stopped and listened to the critical voices that you say to yourself? And do you think that you would actually be friends with yourself or anybody who spoke to you the way you speak to yourself on the inside?
Think about your inner child. Would you ever say the kind of things you say to yourself when you look in the mirror to a child?
Now the only reason you’re doing that is because you think it’s going to goad you into action, you think it’s going to make you happy, when actually it’s just making you critical, it’s just turning on that internal fat switch to make you want to crave crap food.
I know because I used to look at myself in the mirror and I would say all these nasty things, it would be like these wave of red temperature fever. Oh, I couldn’t even stand myself – and I find myself making a beeline to the fridge.
But then I’d be thinking that I didn’t have enough willpower to stop myself from eating the foods. But, really, it was the chemicals in the foods that was making me feel better from all the nasty things I’m saying to myself.
In order to love your body lean, in order for you to have this figure that you don’t have to fight or force for, you don’t have to punish yourself or deprive yourself of the foods that you love. You need to look at the world with forgiving eyes and get out of other people’s business and stop letting that resentment eat you up inside and people living in your head rent-free.
Now this is the mantra that helps me pull myself back in and check in with myself.
There are 3 types of business:
And guess how many of those you have any control over? We’ve only got control over our own business.
So when somebody else is doing something that you don’t like, “It’s none of my business.”
You can only control how you react to it and what you can do in your power.
And just remember: there are two sides to every story. There’s your side, there’s their side – and there’s the truth.
So which one are you going to kill yourself for?
Give up the need to be right, give up your body’s desire or need to be protected – and kill the haters with kindness. And then nothing can touch you, you are protected.
But you know what? At the end of the day, it’s this approval, it’s this eternal quest for external approval that keeps us trapped. But the only approval that matters and gives us peace is that one that we give ourselves.
So, forgive yourself for being where you are. Forgive yourself if you slip off the bandwagon. Forgive yourself for looking the way you look. Forgive yourself for being who you are and treat yourself with kindness and gratitude and love.
I know it’s really, really hard to love yourself when you hate what you see in the mirror.
This is what we really cover in-depth in The Food Freedom Formula™. It’s a 90 day self-paced online program where we walk you through everything you need to know.
But if you can just entertain the idea that maybe one day you might love yourself and ask yourself before you do anything:
If I did love myself, if I did approve of myself, what would I do right now?
Then you are one step closer to that gorgeous, heavenly body.
After suffering a fairly serious breakdown I was unable to cope with life in general. My body felt broke, old and frail – I didn’t just feel middle aged, I felt half dead. I hadn’t realised that my body was self destructing and I was doing it to myself, working long hours, too much alcohol, lots of bad food and absolutely no exercise.
After six months of working with Bianca, I no longer need my blood pressure medication, anti depressants and my cholesterol is in a safe zone. I have lost 2 dress sizes and more than 26 kilos. I now have a life outside of our business and can see a happy, healthy future for our family. I hope the person I became never comes back as I like this girl so much better.
I had heard of Bianca through some magazines – it was an investment but I had tried and failed so many times but in six short months, 20 kilos melted off me and it had a massive and unexpected effect on our styling business. While working with Bianca we secured a national gig, increased our prices to a level we previously thought no one would pay, AND we were booked out weeks in advance.
The majority of this 20 kilo weight loss has only been 5% diet and exercise, the rest has been an emotional journey. Bianca confronted me and called me on my BS and challenged some of my most deeply help beliefs about who I am. And the results are undeniable. I haven’t completely quit drinking, I still get to eat chocolate, I’ve had the best year in my business EVER – and perhaps the most important thing is how differently I react to things emotionally.
Who knew that taking it slowly and being kind to yourself could get you the results that yelling at yourself couldn’t.
Before working with Bianca I was super stressed and I thought it was too hard and I didn’t have the time to be slim AND successful. But I was surprised at how easy it was to implement Bianca’s system – I haven’t counted calories and I still pig out on foods I love. It’s been no coincidence to me that as a result of the new clarity of mind I’ve actually doubled my business at the same time I’ve made these changes to my body.