• Why focusing on losing weight is a false bottomed goal that ruins your progress
• How the key to losing weight lies in enjoying life more
• The secret to happy weight loss – (hint: it’s not what you think)
Have you ever felt like losing weight and keeping it off has been this constant struggle in your life and it’s this endless weight loss rollercoaster that you’ve never really gotten off?
Today I’m talking to you about the first of the 7 Deadliest Diet Sins, the critical diet mistakes that you are probably already making – and you don’t even know it.
This one’s probably going to surprise you. It’s actually having a weight loss goal.
That means that you’re constantly looking at the world with these glasses on there saying “there’s something wrong with me”. So you keep looking for things in your environment that supports this belief.
Now, have you ever learnt a new word and once you’ve learnt it it seems to pop up everywhere? Or you’ve seen a new color car and you never saw it before – but once you’ve seen it once then you happen to see it so many times during the day?
Well, this is the kind of recognition that happens if you are looking out at the world thinking that you need to lose weight. You will constantly seek out instances that prove this belief to be true and you will actively ignore and discard instances that say that you’re beautiful and that you’re perfect and that you don’t need to change for anybody.
Do you say, “Oh wow, thanks for noticing. I’m been working really hard” or “Yeah, I do look really awesome, don’t I?”
Or do you say, “Oh my god, I know! wasn’t I so disgusting?” “Yeah, now all I need to do is lose my fat ass.” “Yeah, I’ve lost 10 kilos, now I have to lose this.” “How do I get rid of this? How do I get rid of this? And how do I get rid of this?”
But instead, if you have goals that are more about gaining life so that you’re looking for all the things that are going right in your life, you can fill up on the deliciousness of life instead of always reaching for the chemicals, food, drugs and alcohol to make you feel better.
“I don’t do drugs.”
Yes, girlfriend. Caffeine is a drug. And sugar and starch and carbohydrates also affect our body’s opiate receptors in the brain. So one of the key building blocks is how you focus your attention to losing weight.
Most people think that in order to be successful and happy they need to slim – but I’m sure you’ve been surprised that even when you have lost weight before, all those problems that perhaps you thought were going to disappear are still there because you’re still you and you’re just slimmer.
And even when you get to that magic number, ideal weight, you’re still wanting more, you’re never really satisfied. You’ve got this hunger that is never totally quenched and you go back to those bad habits again – stuffing your face full of food, drugs, alcohol.
When you’re looking out at the world with the glasses that say there’s something wrong with you, you’re more likely to take extreme measures that are difficult to sustain for the long-term – punish yourself doing exercise you really rather not be doing, be overly critical, and you definitely brush off compliments – which is going to lead you no other place than you feeling like crap.
Now when you feel crap, you eat crap. And because you are what you eat you’re going to look crap. Surprise, surprise!!! That’s going to make you continue to feel crap.
All right. So how do you fix this?
Well, you’ve got no other choice but to go about this in a way that you’ve never ever done before. And instead of punishing and forcing your body, you’re going to love your body lean.
So when you have a gain life goal instead of a lose weight goal, it means that you’re looking out at glasses that say, “I appreciate where I am but I’d like to get over there. I feel good now, but I want to feel better.”
And it’s all a matter of perspective. Even though you’re feeling like crap where you are, there are things that you can feel grateful about – the fact that you can walk, the fact that you can breathe.
Well, when you feel good, you’re more likely to eat the food that makes you feel good. Which in turn helps you look good, which (surprise, surprise) helps you to continue to feel good.
Instead of focusing on how much weight you want to lose or rip off your body, focus on how much life you want to gain instead by doing all those fun activities you always said you would do once you’ve lost the weight.
Find things to appreciate about your life and your body even if it’s something really small – and stop postponing your happiness for the day that you weigh a magic number on the scale and start enjoying life as you are right now.
As a result, you’ll just start eating more healthily most of the time and exercising for fun, just because you want to. And then losing weight becomes just a by-product of you being happy, living life.
Today, let go of these expectations that a certain weight on a scale is what’s going to make you happy.
After suffering a fairly serious breakdown I was unable to cope with life in general. My body felt broke, old and frail – I didn’t just feel middle aged, I felt half dead. I hadn’t realised that my body was self destructing and I was doing it to myself, working long hours, too much alcohol, lots of bad food and absolutely no exercise.
After six months of working with Bianca, I no longer need my blood pressure medication, anti depressants and my cholesterol is in a safe zone. I have lost 2 dress sizes and more than 26 kilos. I now have a life outside of our business and can see a happy, healthy future for our family. I hope the person I became never comes back as I like this girl so much better.
I had heard of Bianca through some magazines – it was an investment but I had tried and failed so many times but in six short months, 20 kilos melted off me and it had a massive and unexpected effect on our styling business. While working with Bianca we secured a national gig, increased our prices to a level we previously thought no one would pay, AND we were booked out weeks in advance.
The majority of this 20 kilo weight loss has only been 5% diet and exercise, the rest has been an emotional journey. Bianca confronted me and called me on my BS and challenged some of my most deeply help beliefs about who I am. And the results are undeniable. I haven’t completely quit drinking, I still get to eat chocolate, I’ve had the best year in my business EVER – and perhaps the most important thing is how differently I react to things emotionally.
Who knew that taking it slowly and being kind to yourself could get you the results that yelling at yourself couldn’t.
Before working with Bianca I was super stressed and I thought it was too hard and I didn’t have the time to be slim AND successful. But I was surprised at how easy it was to implement Bianca’s system – I haven’t counted calories and I still pig out on foods I love. It’s been no coincidence to me that as a result of the new clarity of mind I’ve actually doubled my business at the same time I’ve made these changes to my body.