I am coming here from the Glasshouse Mountains, one of my favorite walking spots, Mount Ngungun.
I really love exercise – but since I’ve had my baby (yes at the time of filming this I had “only” one baby 😂), just managing the tiredness, the fatigue, the different changes in my body, it just hasn’t always felt right. And, actually, I’ve never really been able to get back into the full swing of my old CrossFit mode of operation, which I loved, because there’s a reason for that.
What I discovered is that my masculine energy – being able to force and do and push – really helped me create amazing success in my business, in my body, in athletic achievement.
You know when you see those beautiful before and after shots of people who do those body sculpting shows or have done a challenge and they’re just ripped and shredded?
It’s very easy to look on the outside of those results and think about how amazing they must feel. But what you’re discounting in that moment is all the lonely morning cardio sessions, or lunchtime walking sessions, or depriving yourself of enjoying food with friends and family.
And so, what I discovered is always pushing myself came at the expense of other areas of my life. And I don’t know if that’s ever happened to you before where you found that you can really kick off and you can really succeed when it comes to your body – but maybe your business sacrifices at the same time. Or maybe you can put all your attention in your body – but then your relationships and your social life suffers.
And that’s because you’re trying to create this Rubik’s Cube of success. And there’s a great consequence of it because no one’s really ever taught us about how to be a woman and how to really access our feminine powers of allowing.
And so, this morning, as much as I would have loved to have gone up to the top and looked at the beautiful view, I just wasn’t feeling it. I’ve had this sort of breastfeeding boob vulture-like parasite, draining me of my stores all night. I feel like sometimes I’m going to wake up in the morning and Pete’s just going to see this cicada shell of a wife, of a mother just being sucked of all of her vitality and energy.
That’s a really descriptive way of saying that I’m just really tired.
What I discovered is that kind of forcing and pushing comes at a great cost to your hormonal health – and sometimes that can be the very thing that’s holding you back from achieving the body of your dreams.
Sometimes people talk to me, they’re like, “I went to a boot camp and I did six weeks of bootcamp. I got up every morning, and I rushed the kids to school, and I was screaming for it to happen. I was moving heaven and earth – and after six weeks I lost like 2 kilos.”
And I said, “You know what, you actually would’ve been better off if you had just sat on the couch, had a meditation, taken a bit more time with eating, choosing the right foods that were going to make you feel good. Because everything that you just did is you kicked off your internal fat switch, your hormonal trigger that makes your body want to crave fatty foods, store fat really stubbornly, slow down your metabolism and make you feel really lethargic, so it’s really difficult for you to exercise. That’s your body’s fail safe evolutionary system to keep the weight on – because it thinks that there’s some kind of famine happening, it’s got to have the excess stores and protect you from.”
The dirty truth about exercise is that if you want to create a lasting, peaceful, sustainable relationship with your body and your food and your exercise – and you don’t want that to come at the cost of your relationships, of your social life, and you do want to keep on having a glass of wine every now and then or every Friday night – whatever you decide to do that sacrifices one area of your life, you’ll only be able to retain those results for as long as you’re willing to make that sacrifice.
So if you don’t want to do shake diets forever for the rest of your life, then if you do it for 12 weeks you’re not going to get the results for as long as you want either.
What I really want to share with you is that sometimes we have to go against the grain, we have to fight back against everything that’s been taught to us about how there’s valor in the struggle, that pushing and shoving yourself is actually worthy of your attention – and that everything else you just need to take a teaspoon of hardened up, toughened up cement.
It just doesn’t work that way.
Your body’s a living, organic, dying, growing machine. It is creating this amazing ecosystem internally and then externally is the result. So your body is just the projector screen for your mind.
If you’re feeling like your projector screen right now is feeling really heavy and sluggish and overburdened, it’s because of these thoughts, these emotions, these things that you’re being over-responsible in the rest of your life. And if you can just bring yourself back into a calm, neutral state, if you can get rid of the mind viruses that say that you have to be more and you’re not enough and you’re not worthy… You have to get rid of all those mind viruses. And the fastest way to do that is tapping into that womb space, that feminine space of allowing.
I kind of feel like the best way to live life is second trimester of pregnancy, where you know you’re creating epic things – but you don’t have to force and punish yourself in order to do that.
I have amazing tools to help you. Kylie and I are putting together our super powers and we’re combining them together for our program, a 7-week intensive called Design Your Dream Life without sacrificing your body or selling your soul. Because you can have an abundance in every area of your life. You don’t have to have success in one area of your life come at the expense of another.
First of all, what we will do is we will actually look at the different areas that you are leaking your feminine power through a little diagnostic quiz – and then we can have a quick chat and see if we’re matched to work together, see if the issues that are going on for you are something that our program can help you with. Because after the 7-week intensive, it’s actually a 12-month journey of support, of implementing the ideas, and of changing on the level of being instead of just worrying about everything that you’re doing.
That’s why you see so many of my clients talk about: “I’ve been enjoying myself. It was 6 months ago since I did your program – and I learnt about how to listen to myself and listen to my body. I’ve just been living life. I haven’t been dieting. I’ve just been doing some walking in the morning. Oh, and by the way, I’ve lost 10 kilos.”
And that’s what happens when you can balance your feminine and masculine energies, when you can stop forcing and pushing and you can actually start receiving.
There’s heaps of amazing benefits that happen when you stop fighting against your body.
If you’re sick of feeling confused and unclear and you just want to get some 1:1 help, I have a limited number of spaces each week I can jump on a call for a quick chat to work out exactly what is triggering your stubborn weight gain and disordered eating habits.
I have a short questionnaire for you to fill out which will help me identify the number 1 thing that’s holding you back and map out the most effective and sustainable way for you to look and feel better than you ever have before. Click here to book your short discovery call.
Have a great day!
After suffering a fairly serious breakdown I was unable to cope with life in general. My body felt broke, old and frail – I didn’t just feel middle aged, I felt half dead. I hadn’t realised that my body was self destructing and I was doing it to myself, working long hours, too much alcohol, lots of bad food and absolutely no exercise.
After six months of working with Bianca, I no longer need my blood pressure medication, anti depressants and my cholesterol is in a safe zone. I have lost 2 dress sizes and more than 26 kilos. I now have a life outside of our business and can see a happy, healthy future for our family. I hope the person I became never comes back as I like this girl so much better.
I had heard of Bianca through some magazines – it was an investment but I had tried and failed so many times but in six short months, 20 kilos melted off me and it had a massive and unexpected effect on our styling business. While working with Bianca we secured a national gig, increased our prices to a level we previously thought no one would pay, AND we were booked out weeks in advance.
The majority of this 20 kilo weight loss has only been 5% diet and exercise, the rest has been an emotional journey. Bianca confronted me and called me on my BS and challenged some of my most deeply help beliefs about who I am. And the results are undeniable. I haven’t completely quit drinking, I still get to eat chocolate, I’ve had the best year in my business EVER – and perhaps the most important thing is how differently I react to things emotionally.
Who knew that taking it slowly and being kind to yourself could get you the results that yelling at yourself couldn’t.
Before working with Bianca I was super stressed and I thought it was too hard and I didn’t have the time to be slim AND successful. But I was surprised at how easy it was to implement Bianca’s system – I haven’t counted calories and I still pig out on foods I love. It’s been no coincidence to me that as a result of the new clarity of mind I’ve actually doubled my business at the same time I’ve made these changes to my body.