Thing 1. Stopping trying to lose weight got better results than the diets ever did.
Thing 2. This approach worked for others too.
Thing 3. It’s difficult to listen to your body and trust in the process when you’re beyond exhausted and have already failed so many times in the past.
The trouble with taking a mind body approach to weight loss is that the very thing that can set you free is the exact same thing that is keeping you stuck; your mind.
You see, the Diet Industry has a unique loop-hole that is very lucrative to them, and yet incredibly damaging to us.
In what other industry would it be acceptable to blame the CUSTOMER every. single. time the PRODUCT doesn’t work?
But that’s EXACTLY what happens with Diets.
|Imagine going up to a shop counter asking for a refund on that diet program that you bought that didn’t live up to its promises.
Counter attendant: “Well, did it work when you were doing it?”
Customer: “ Yes – but it stopped working as soon as I stopped having the shakes/pills/potions/only eating 500 calories / vegetables that weren’t purple.”
Counter attendant: “Well – that’s not our problem – that’s YOUR fault for going back to old habits! You’re a fat Failure! …..
Customer: Oh My God. You’re right!
Counter attendant: “Hmmm. Okay Fatso. It’s time to get serious – you NEED this !”
Customer: *hands over credit card again* “Okay. You’re right, I’m hopeless. I guess I just can’t be trusted to be off a diet”
If you’ve tried really hard in the past to lose the weight, and you’ve had some success but… the diet wasn’t sustainable and the results weren’t long term -it leads us to believe that effortless weight management and having a healthy and attractive body is some kind of Magical Unicorn!
Therefore we think it can ONLY be acquired with some equally magical potion, which tragically only further destroys our metabolism and self esteem even more.
To make matters worse, the Inner Critic has a field day with this and gets stronger and stronger – it’s like a parasite that spreads like cancer throughout your body!
Until you find yourself once again in the Sabotage Sinkhole and the Vortex of Busyness; trying to prove yourself by being over responsible for others , which of course leads to you being under responsible for yourself.
Kylie says “Diets condition you to think that using will power to force yourself into compliance is the answer and that your only measurement of success can be seen on the scales.
But not only is that not sustainable, it’s the wrong place to look! You need to know the exact places to measure where you’ve been showing up for change before the change.
That’s how you stay motivated and actually validated that you’re making progress. Most women ARE getting results, but they don’t notice because they’re looking in the wrong spot – we help redirect their attention so they know where to look.”
It’s like saying “I tried being kind to myself, but I didn’t get skinny straight away, so I stopped!”
The truth is that being kind to yourself is just the first step, and true self-compassion doesn’t need you to be skinny before you can afford yourself some self-care.
This is why it’s critical to get the expert support to keep guiding your mindset training wheels back to your centre so that healthy habits are effortless, and intuitive eating is automatic.
|Science – Scientifically proven methods that train your brain for Neuro-plastic change to support your healthy behaviour.
Strategies – Practical, easy-to-implement strategies that you can master, step-by-step at a rate that actually fits in with your life (no more all or nothing)
Spirit – Calling back your spirit from other people, places, times and things that are draining your energy, and centering it where it belongs -inside your body, right now, so you can remember your own connection with your Soul and Authentic Self.
Support & Sisterhood – When you realise that others are walking the path with you, you can lift each other up along the way, and you never need to feel alone and like food is your only friend.
But you know what, there’s one more “S” I want to add to the list above and it reminds me of an experience I had directly after a coaching session with Kylie.
I’m very goal oriented; and at the end of every session Kylie would help me check in with my subconscious and ask what action steps would I commit to. On this particular day I found myself completing the action of: sitting outside, enjoying the afternoon and patting my beloved Dogs.
For a while I just lost myself in the peaceful joy of the moment – there was nowhere to be and nothing to do. It felt like a weight had lifted off my shoulders, I was smiling and for the first time in ages, I realised I was actually thoroughly enjoying being myself!
Just sitting there, doing nothing but enjoying the company of myself and my dogs.
*cue record scratch*
Out of nowhere I heard an inner voice say “WTF, How is this going to make me skinny Kylie?!!!”
Fortunately, I had built enough self awareness with Kylie’s support to realise THIS was the real struggle in my mind that I needed to conquer. The battle between the “good voice” and the “bad”.
As a chronic “Busy-A-Holic” the resistance to being still and creating space in my life meant my plate was overloaded – and as a result I was literally overloading my plate!
|You need Space in your life in order to create change that lasts.If you’re constantly doing things for others, and never filling up your own cup, there is a void within you that CANNOT be filled with food (no matter how hard you try!) You’ll constantly overeat, give in to temptations and find yourself exhausted on the carbs and coffee train if you don’t have the Space to work on you.|
As one of my beautiful clients once said, “What is my time even worth if I’m not allowed to spend any of it on myself?”
Good question! And all this resistance to Self Care and Me Time can dissolve away when you align your subconscious mind with your conscious desires.
And that’s why, even though my body has changed many times over the past 10 years – I was able to effortlessly lose 30kgs after the birth of my son, only walking, without counting calories and still eating chocolate everyday.
You’re here because it feels like your body has betrayed you, it never looks the way you want it to – and you can’t simply just “trust the process” because your body has always fought and lied to you!
I totally get it – it’s mind boggling to think about what it would be like to actually surrender control and trust that something different could be possible for you.
But how has your way been working for you?
Think about how hard you’ve been white knuckling Life – all of it – and how many times you’ve collapsed in a heap ….. thinking that you were the failure and not just a casualty of the Diet Industry Rollercoaster?
Imagine how detrimental it would be to a soccer player if every time he approached the goal he told himself “Why bother – you’re just going to fail again” – before he even took aim?
What would you do if somebody was saying that to your child, or to somebody else you love and adore?
What if instead, you had the skills, strategies and support to question that inner negative voice and replace it with a positive one instead?
Your body is simply the projector screen for your mind and that’s why I focus on helping you master your mindset. Our work together guides your inner spotlight to look for success in the right spots. We help you celebrate how far you’ve come, instead of letting you constantly discount your progress and berate yourself for how far you still have to go. This is the secret to getting motivated and staying that way long term.
Another one of my incredible clients said “I no longer think of this as a weight problem. I think of this as a checking in with myself problem.”
And she’s so right. When I got back in the driver seat of my own life, instead of being constantly buffered by anxieties, fears and worries about what other people expected of me, amazing things started happening. I finally squashed a soul-sucking business, changed career directions, collected an array of incredible women to call my dear friends, and actually had quality time to spend with the ones I already had.
I’m even proud to say that I weathered the storm of fertility treatment and trying to conceive for 2 years with a pretty unshakeable belief that “everything’s going to work out for the best”. And I’ve got a beautiful 2 year old son to prove it!
Oh, and my husband’s really pleased too – *cough* if our sex life had a motto it would be “The Better It Gets The Better It Gets!”
Just think – how much free brain space you would have if you could get rid of that endless negative chatter about food and your body?
Next I’m going to help you decide whether an Emotional Healing Weight Loss approach is right for you. Let’s face it – there’s a million ways to lose weight, and the majority of aren’t a good fit for you! (‘Cos we both know you’ve probably tried almost all of them!)
Let’s talk about it tomorrow.
PS. If you haven’t already introduced yourself to our Facebook group – do it now.
After suffering a fairly serious breakdown I was unable to cope with life in general. My body felt broke, old and frail – I didn’t just feel middle aged, I felt half dead. I hadn’t realised that my body was self destructing and I was doing it to myself, working long hours, too much alcohol, lots of bad food and absolutely no exercise.
After six months of working with Bianca, I no longer need my blood pressure medication, anti depressants and my cholesterol is in a safe zone. I have lost 2 dress sizes and more than 26 kilos. I now have a life outside of our business and can see a happy, healthy future for our family. I hope the person I became never comes back as I like this girl so much better.
I had heard of Bianca through some magazines – it was an investment but I had tried and failed so many times but in six short months, 20 kilos melted off me and it had a massive and unexpected effect on our styling business. While working with Bianca we secured a national gig, increased our prices to a level we previously thought no one would pay, AND we were booked out weeks in advance.
The majority of this 20 kilo weight loss has only been 5% diet and exercise, the rest has been an emotional journey. Bianca confronted me and called me on my BS and challenged some of my most deeply help beliefs about who I am. And the results are undeniable. I haven’t completely quit drinking, I still get to eat chocolate, I’ve had the best year in my business EVER – and perhaps the most important thing is how differently I react to things emotionally.
Who knew that taking it slowly and being kind to yourself could get you the results that yelling at yourself couldn’t.
Before working with Bianca I was super stressed and I thought it was too hard and I didn’t have the time to be slim AND successful. But I was surprised at how easy it was to implement Bianca’s system – I haven’t counted calories and I still pig out on foods I love. It’s been no coincidence to me that as a result of the new clarity of mind I’ve actually doubled my business at the same time I’ve made these changes to my body.